City sign STAR FREE AGENT to replace AGUERO in time for Manchester Derby!

With the first Manchester derby only five days away (and the first instalment of Jose v Pep), Manchester City have signed a new star striker for the big game!

As a result of the FA slapping City star man Sergio Aguero with a three game ban – and subsequently missing the big derby game – for his recent elbow antics, Guardiola has moved fast to sign a replacement for the game at Old Trafford on September 10th.

We at CRB-VIP can exclusively reveal Manchester City have signed none other than free agent (and the Lord himself,) Nicklas Bendtner!

The former Arsenal and Wolfsberg man is delighted at the chance to resurrect his career in the Premier League and told our reporter in an exclusive interview:

“I am absolutely delighted to be joining this illustrious club. A club that warrants me. I will be top scorer in the Premier League. I am one of the best strikers in the world and can not wait to prove it in the Manchester derby against Zlatan this weekend. I will score a hat-trick. Trust me, it will happen. Zlatan has nothing on me. He is weak, I am strong. I will be champion. I will win City the league single handily and repay the managers faith he has shown in me. I will prove all the doubters. This time next year I’ll be at Barcelona or Real Madrid. I am the Lord. I am more powerful than God. I will……. ”

The interview got cut short as our reporter was being suffocated by the lack of space in the room at the time, due to the strikers ever expanded head and ego  – so he had to flee via the fire exit at the Sportcity training complex Manchester, in order to survive.

Inside sources say that the Danish international will go straight into the side against the Red Devils at Old Trafford due to the shortage of fire power at Peps disposal.

JabberMan/@JabberManUK

@CRBVIP

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